The Importance of Likability

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There are two types of people: those who experienced their glory days in high school, and those who experienced an endless nightmare. People will say that college is a “fresh start” in terms of establishing your status and persona amongst your peers. You no longer have to worry about the football captain throwing spitballs in your hair, or the “Regina George” of your school making fun of your outfits every single day. Although these people may not be around anymore physically, the experience you go through from age 3 to 18 will essentially affect the rest of your life for better or for worse.

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Ugh, this dress. Forever regretting how badly it washed me out.

I recently finished Mitch Prinstein’s book, Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World. I can’t lie, I was considered “popular” in high school. I was one of the captains of the soccer team, I was a cheerleader in middle school, and I was in the top 6 finalists for Homecoming Queen. On the outside, it appears that I had a dandy high school experience; hanging out with the “cool kids,” dating the most popular boys in the school, and being known by pretty much everyone in my gradating class. I was pretty, smart, and athletic. If you have any of the same characteristics, you were probably considered “popular” in high school, too.

However, when I look back on my high school experience, I can’t say that I was necessarily ‘happy.’ The thing about being part of the popular crowd is that I always had anxiety circulating my mind about what people thought of me. Since most of the school actually knows who you are, you are constantly in the spotlight. Other students look at you walking down the hall, keep up to date with who you are dating, check online profiles for the most recent gossip, etc. Don’t get me Image result for 2000s fashion popularwrong, I am definitely aware that my high school experience was probably ideal compared to many. I was not fiercely bullied or made fun of or laughed at. I had my moments too, though, and would come home crying when people made fun of the way I did my makeup, or call me “the anorexic girl” behind my back. When you are in the spotlight, you are held to a higher standard than everyone else. You are expected to look pretty everyday, have the nicest clothes, and have the most confidence. I, however, struggled heavily in the confidence department, so I tried to make up for it by overcompensating in the other 2 categories. This meant: waking up extremely early every day to do my makeup and straighten my hair (I don’t remember ever going to school without makeup on), and picking out an outfit styled with the latest brands like Juicy Couture, Abercrombie & Fitch, Seven for all Mankind, etc.

I know what you’re thinking, “Oh God, what a harddddd life you had. You must have been so exhausting trying to look pretty every day while the other students were bullied Image result for popularity quotesand harassed in the middle of every class.” Trust me, I know I had it better than others. I know that many people would have traded places with me. The point I am trying to make here is that popularity does not end after high school. What you went through in your adolescent years does not disappear after graduation. There is no “clean slate” in college. What you go through in adolescence affects there rest of your life: your career, your relationships, etc. It affects what you choose to seek later on in life – status or happiness.

There are two types of popularity: status, and likability. It’s nice to have both, but one is far superior than the other. Let’s take status for example. Someone of status can be someone like Paris Hilton or Donald Trump. They were both born into wealth, and what we all know, money = power. The more money you have, the more “power” you are assumed to have since you have access to many things that 90% of us do not. You have more financial freedom to do the things you want to do, and do the things that many others could only wish they could do.

However, both Paris Hilton and Donald Trump are not the most “liked” celebrities out there. They are not necessarily two celebrities who you would say #goals to (unless you are a radical, irrational, and close-minded Republican), or celebrities Image result for tom hanks likablethat you would probably want to hang out with if you had the chance. This is where “likability” comes in. Being likable is the most determining factor of happiness. When you are well liked, people want to be around you, and think of you as a positive influence in their life. Well liked people are often understanding, Image result for ellen degeneres likablehumorous, good listeners, and compassionate. Some well-liked celebrities are Ellen DeGeneres, Beyonce, Tom Hanks, etc (there was so much on Tom Hanks had to include another hyperlink here on how cute and awesome he is). Compare these 3 celebrities to the Kardashians, and most people will choose to spend time with the first group. This is likability vs. status.

The thing is, many people believe that just because you were popular in high school, means that you will go forward being a successful human later in life. In essence, it’s hard to have a high status and high likability factor. Many people correlate high status with characteristics like: egotistical, selfish, narcissistic, self-centered, petty, etc. Ever see previews of that show Rich Kids of Beverly Hills? Or the Real Housewives? They come off extremely pretentious, exposing their lavish Image result for rich kids of beverly hillslifestyles to the rest of the world, AKA, people who come no where close to their financial status. Many of these people do not have the best approval rating compared to the rest of the world. Therefore, it is a challenge for them to essentially humanize their life – make it seem like they are “just one of us.” They are put on this pedestal that has a negative connotation many times, so they have to try and show their ‘likable’ side if they want to succeed even more in life (which equates with either making more money because all rich people want to become richer – or becoming happier – since of course having a high status does not make you happy).

The likability factor in popularity is key. Many of the popular kids you knew in high school who were just popular due to their financial status (being the rich kid), their looks (best looking of the grade), or their athletic ability (senior captain, fastest player, etc) do not end up the most successful or the happiest people later on in life according to Prinstein. The thing is, having a higher status will not make you happier. Being popular in high school will not guarantee you to become a reality TV star or the most popular person at your new job. So how does this relate to the digital revolution?

Right now, we are living in a society where everything you do or say is displayed on social media. Due to the rise of Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, and other social networking sites, we have essentially become obsessed with sharing our lives with Image result for edited selves on social mediathe rest of the world. Social media marketing is one of the most successful forms of advertising in 2017. Brands are learning how to infiltrate your news feeds and timelines, and you will rarely see a company that does not have a Facebook or Twitter link on their Contact Us page. Although social media is supposed to be about connecting with each other, I believe it has become a medium we use to advertise ourselves as who we want to be, not who we really are. We use social media to share our “edited selves” rather than our “authentic selves.” And no matter how much we deny it, all of us just want to be liked by others.

Therefore, the power of likability is extremely relative to how we portray ourselves on social media. We have become a society who gains instant gratification from new followers and likes on the last selfie we posted. We feel more confident in ourselves when someone leaves a comment on our page telling us how skinny we look, or #bodygoals. We are constantly seeking gratification from others – whether it be strangers online or our close friends – it’s become an unhealthy obsession.

It’s normal for us to feel good about ourselves when someone compliments us – why wouldn’t we smile and have a spark of happiness? Yet, we have become so Related imagedependent on relying on other’s for acceptance, that is has completely transformed the way we display ourselves online. We are desperately seeking that likability and status combo – we want to appear like we have an awesome life, but we also want people to tell us how great they think we are. Both popular and unpopular people go through this, as popular people seek to keep up their image, and unpopular people seek to repair theirs. Typically, the more we try to impress people with our amenities and advanced status, the unhappier we become.

I know it’s a sore subject, but how many times have you read about celebrities who have committed suicide or battled with depression? You would think the #LifestylesOfTheRichAndFamous (thanks Good Charlotte) are the ones with the happiest people since they attain everything that us plebes do not have. Do you see the pattern yet? Status does not equal happiness. Status does not equal happiness. Status does not equal happiness. If you were unpopular in high school and thought the “popular” kids had it all, think again.

In conclusion, it is important to realize that most people who are popular have a hard time achieving both likability and status. There are some, like the celebrities I mentioned earlier, who are definitely well-liked and well-accomplished. However, I think most of us automatically think of status first when thinking about success. When we think about “being successful,” we typically correlate it with material goods like nice cars, big houses, and designer clothes. In reality, most of us just want to live a life where they don’t hate their job, they don’t have to battle through a divorce, and they don’t have to face much confrontation. Whether that means living in an apartment in NYC or on a small ranch in Montana, your desire to be happy will be more dependent on how likable you are, rather than what social status you’ve acquired. In the end, isn’t happiness the greatest form of success?

Concentrate on your positive qualities rather than your impressive quantities. 

 

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Authenticity in Social Media: Influencers, Paid Media, & Relentless Marketing

“Social media is more about sociology and psychology than it is about technology”

Brian Solis

You love it. You hate it. You run away from it. You run back to it. It’s made your life better. It’s made your life worse. Social media is… complicated.

As someone who has: read a handful of books, completed a 40 page senior thesis, conducted a focus group, researched for hours, and obtained a career in this fieldsocial media is a topic that I have been consistently intrigued by. It inspires me, but it also drives me crazy. I think that is how we all feel about social media at the moment. It’s almost impossible to drag ourselves away from logging into Facebook or Instagram every morning – it’s pretty much the first thing we check when we wake up. It has built relationships, but it has also destroyed relationships. It has made some things in our lives easier, but it has also made things more complicated. Social media is more about how people behave and communicate rather than an evolution in technology.

Do you remember when you first created a Facebook profile? Or the first tweet you sent out on Twitter? Or the first picture you posted to Instagram? Social Media has been around for almost half my life. I think I created my Facebook in 2007, about 3 years after it was created by my idol… Mark Zuckerberg. Say what you want about him (The Social Networkmy favorite movie – explains the history and lawsuit he was involved in while Facebook was evolving – very messy), but you have to agree that the 5th richest man in the world has to be an extremely intelligent individual.

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According to recent findings, the top 4 social media sites are: (1) Facebook (2) YouTube (3) Instagram and (4) Twitter. Facebook was the first main social media platform that excelled in user growth astronomically. Most people you know DO have a Facebook profile nowadays, whether or not they use it as much as they once did when it first became popular. Due to to the rise of the other platforms listed above, and other apps like Snapchat, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Google+, etc., Facebook’s popularity among Millennials and other age groups tended to fade a bit. This is when Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, and Snapchat’s appeal grew. There is one phrase that comes to mind when describing those 4 platforms: “Short, sweet, and to the point.”

A lot of people have drifted away from Facebook due to it’s “messiness” – AKA, the Event Invites, the Game Invites, the Birthday Notifications, the Video posts, Image posts, Status Updates, Advertisements, People You May Know… and the list goes on. This is not necessarily saying Facebook is a “bad” social network or that it is too complex, however… Millennials now tend to gravitate toward the more simpler platforms where a post can be easily explained with visual cues – a photo or video.

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YouTube is a collection of videos. Search the topic you are interested in, and
browse results until you find what you are looking for. Twitter is feed of status updates under 140 characters. It’s basically the headline or summary of any specific event, feeling, occurrence, etc (Twitter is #ShortSweetAndToThePoint, which also makes it the fastest moving platform with a constant conversation flow)Snapchat is a photo and/or video that disappears in 10 seconds or less. You can send these photos/videos directly, or post them on your “story” visible to the public or your friends which disappears 24 hours after it was posted. Instagram is a feed of images or short videos posted by people you choose to follow. Similar to Twitter, you have a # of people who follow you, and you have a # of people you choose to follow. Unlike Facebook, the relationship does not have to be mutual. You can choose to follow people who do not follow you and vice versa.

When I was in my senior year of college (2013), Instagram was the “it” platform. Facebook purchased Instagram in 2012 for $1 billion – an incredibly smart move (#Biased cause of love Mark Zuckerberg but c’mon, it was a good move). Personally, Related imageI still believe that Instagram is the ‘favorite’ platform to use for Millennials – if not Snapchat. Both of them are dominating the social scene right now. The rise of “social media influencers” and social advertisements on these platforms has increased drastically throughout the years. You can now make thousands of dollars just from posting a sponsored advertisement on Instagram or Snapchat – crazy, right?

That leads me into my next point – social media influencers who are they and what do they do? When I type the word “influencers” out on my keyword, it is underlined in red as not even a real word. Social Media Influencers are the new celebrities of the digital revolution. They are people who have grown their social media audience to add up to millions and millions of followers – mainly from the Image result for social media influencerscontent they post online to Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. Basically, their rise to fame was not from a reality TV show (more of a 90s/early 2000s trend), or being a professional athlete, singer, actor, etc. They gained popularity primarily through what they share on social media. This can be anything from their singing abilities, makeup tutorials, or their incredible body.

When companies discover these influencers, and see how large their audience is, they say, “Hey, if we can get this person to share our product/service to their millions of followers from just making a Facebook/Instagram post, this will save us a ton of $$$, and it will reach millions of people – how awesome!” This is now what we call social media advertising/marketing.

Many companies and brands are *awesome* at social media marketing. A lot of Image result for best brands on socialcompanies, when they first start out and have a low budget, typically market their product/service on their own pages which usually costs them little to no money. Other companies will send their product to an influencer (or let them use their service) for free in order for them to share it to their audience. Influencers typically disclaim that they were sent the product for free (but they do not have to from what I can recall), but that they “would never share a product or service that they did not genuinely like.” ~Eye roll.~ I know, I know… I seem petty, but maybe it is my guilty conscious, but if a company sent me a crap ton of stuff
Image result for sponsored posts on social mediafor free, I would feel a bit bad for going online and calling it shit. I believe that a lot of influencers feel the same, so they go online and state how much they genuinely love the product/service, which will most likely lead to more free stuff in the future, and a positive networking relationship in the future. In my opinion – networking is A MAJOR KEY in life – one of the most important skills to become an expert in (…as my dad’s voice goes off in my head, “it’s all about who you know“).

However, as influencers gain more thousands and millions of followers, they start to become greedy. They don’t care as much about getting free stuff, they want the money money money. Paid social media is one of the most successful marketing Image result for sponsored posts on social mediatools used today. You have probably noticed that when you scroll through your Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feeds nowadays, you see a lot of posts that say “Sponsored” at the top. This means that that post was specifically planted on your feed (based on your demographic, web browsing history, etc) to garner your attention. A cost is incurred depending on the type of ad planned; for example many ads incur a cost per click. There is so much to say about paid media in terms of these brand-made sponsored post, but the point is: since companies/brands realize that more people are spending MORE time on social media, so they are putting their money where you are. If their target market spends the most time on Instagram out of all social platforms, then they are going to appear on your feed there in a Sponsored post, hoping for you to click (companies also track engagement here – likes, shares, retweets, etc.) on their ad and make them some more, more money.

Influencers can be part of sponsored posts as well. Let’s look a Kylie Jenner – one of the most talked about celebrities in pop culture – with one of the most insane bodies #curvesgalore (and also labeled as #SlimThick which is the new “look” apparently), with almost 100 million followers just on Instagram (on JUST her personal account – not included her makeup line account, etc). Let’s take a look at Image result for fittea sponsorthis post here. Kylie Jenner takes a selfie with a weird sanitary pad-looking wrap on her stomach. This is apparently a ‘tummy fat loss wrap’ made by the Queen of Social Media Scam Companies – FitTea. FitTea is known for using beautiful, skinny, fit, and trending social media celebrities in their marketing campaigns on Instagram specifically. Why Instagram? Because Instagram is all about the image – it is a platform solely based on a picture and the story it tells. Therefore, FitTea uses the most social stars with the most incredible bodies, and pays them to talk about their product. Do these stars actually USE the product? My belief is no, but I am honestly not sure. I guess if I was getting a product for free and getting paid to advertise it, I would give it a try. But then again, me being someone who researches everythingggggggg – I would also hesitate to use something that is essentially a liquid laxative marketed to “detox” the body, when your body already detoxes itself naturally.

Depending on the amount of followers the influencer has across all major platforms, the brand will offer/negotiate on a price to pay the influencer for posting about their product. Sometimes the price can be $5000, and sometimes it can be $20000 or more. Each brand is different, and sometimes they may ask the influencer to use certain keywords to explain their product, or if on YouTube… talk about their product for a certain amount of time, at a certain point in the video, etc. (2 minutes at the beginning of the video, for example).

At this point, we can go back to the quote that I introduced the article with:

Social media is more about sociology and psychology than it is about technology” 

I believe through all of my extensive research online, public seminars and workshops, interviews, and books read on the topic… social media is the Image result for psychology of social mediaobservance of human actions/behavior, and the portrayal of their mental state. Social media strategists are the psychologists behind these new social media campaigns that are targeting YOU. They are researching how you communicate, what you communicate, where you communicate, when you communicate, etc. They are looking at your organic behavior and your reactive behavior. They are keeping track of trends you follow, who you follow, and how you interact with what you love and hate. This sounds kinda stalkerish and/or creepy, right? Remember when you were shopping for shoes, and then 20 minutes later when you logged onto Facebook you saw an advertisement for the SAME shoes you were just looking at? Your actions are being recorded online ev-ree-where….

Most of this piece talked about how brands/companies use social media to study their consumer and how to successfully market to them on the platforms where they are most, what messaging to use to them, what voice/tone to speak in, etc. However, we can use social media to also analyze people with our own knowledge Image result for psychology of social mediaof psychology and sociology. As someone who has been interested in psychology since my mid teens, it was a no-brainer for me to jump into the social field when it gained huge popularity (and while journalism sadly grew less popular *hint: I was a journalism major) while I was in college. As said before, I studied the way college females use social media to help shape their self-presentation as my senior research thesis.

I read and read and read and read.

I read about the word “selfie” for 4 weeks. I read about how females use social media differently than males. I read about the importance of platform selection and post time when crafting your post. All of these things dig dip into the human Image result for editing ourselves on social mediapsyche, rather than justifying social media as just a way to communicate with people. Social media is also how we communicate ourselves to the world, which is
typically our “ideal” and “edited” self rather than our authentic selves
. We share the best parts of our lives that are exciting, beautiful, memorable, unique, etc. Everything about our social media feeds – the captions we use, the type of photos we post, the language we use – is all an analysis of ourselves and how we want to be portrayed. It’s more than just communicating a friend, it’s about how we want our friend to communicate with us.

With the ability to freely edit everything about ourselves and/or our brand(s) on social media, how are we to believe who or what is authentic anymore? These posts are a compilation of what we want to hear, what we want to see, what we want to read – is any of it genuine anymore? How are we to believe who is real and who is fake? How are we supposed to know which brands are trustworthy anymore?

I can talk about this for hours – so I’ll wrap it up here before this becomes another 40 page research paper. What are your thoughts on influencers and authenticity on social media? 

 

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50 Shades of Disorders: The Evolution of the #Fitspo Movement

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It’s hard to argue that Instagram isn’t the current powerhouse of social media, AKA, digital #goals. Although Facebook still has the largest number of members, Instagram is arguably the fastest growing and most innovative platform around. Then again, Facebook owns Instagram, so when Instagram wins, Facebook wins, too.

I was in the middle of my college career (2011-2012) when Instagram started to Related imagesurpass other popular platforms like Tumblr, Vine, Pinterest, etc. Snapchat was also on the rise during this era, which has grown to be a top competitor with Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. During this time, I was brainstorming what I wanted to write about for my senior thesis. After very little contemplation [actually], I decided to study the growth of Instagram – more specifically, how young females have used Instagram to help shape their self-presentation. By conducting a focus group and extensive literature review, I observed how Millennial women use this social media platform to manipulate their own image in order to portray themselves in a more attractive/appealing light than their own reality (My full paper is available here on my LinkedIn page).

I conducted a focus group of girls to talk about Instagram for two hours (and fed them pizza), sat in the library for 12+ hours/day reading books and articles on social media, branding, marketing, digital space, etc. Although this may sound daunting, all of this work heightened my interest in the digital world even more. I have grown to be obsessed with the psychology behind social media, and how it has changed the way we communicate and behave. What I have learned about Related imageInstagram through my research & personal observations over the past five years is that deep down, most of us just want to be cool. We want people to think we ‘have it all,’ or admire us in some way. Most of us care way too much about what other people think of us because we lack self-awareness, and we don’t put in the effort to improve it. Instead, we just try to conform our image to what society approves of (that’s easier & less detrimental to our self-esteem, 😉 ).

It is not surprising that more than half of Instagram’s users are female. Females are typically more [openly] insecure than males, therefore, they are the ones on Instagram proactively trying to modify their image. As a female who’s had a minimal amount of confidence for most of my life, I can relate to the insecurity that many females feel about their overall image. We are constantly bombarded with images of size 0 models on magazines and billboards, of course we feel “fat” when our stomachs and legs don’t look like those of Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner, or Blake Lively. Instagram avoids the messiness of Facebook: no event invites, long statuses that no one cares about, game invitations, 172 photos in 1 album to scroll through, etc. Instagram is the #1 photo of your 68 photos you took on Saturday night. It’s the #goals of your camera roll. Instagram highlights the most exciting and most flattering parts of your life, and leaves everything else shoved under the bed.

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When I conducted my focus group in college, the girls in the group mentioned how they would alter the lighting in rooms, move furniture around, and take photos from multiple different angles in order to see which view is the most flattering. In terms of taking “selfies,” they would always turn to their best or “skinniest” angle, and make sure their most attractive assets were show off. The term “natty lighting” came about, where people typically look their best – shadows and light all placed in the perfect places (natural lighting, FYI ;).

“Natty lighting” was most likely coined in the Fitspo Community of Instagram. The Fitspo Movement started in 2013-2015, just when Instagram was getting big. Both men and women (predominantly women) were starting to post fitness content on their Instagram page, creating their own ‘fitness journey.’ Most people started to branch out from their personal Instagram, and created a separate page just for Related imagetheir fitness/health content. Content included images of their meals, selfies from the gym, video stills from their workout, motivational quotes, etc. The people who were posting this type of content were also more muscular, curvier, and vascular than typical fitness images on the covers of magazines. These men and women were showing off their muscles and curves, flexing their biceps and quads, and eating more than a salad and boiled chicken for lunch. Of course, this seemed like an incredibly positive and inspirational movement. The confidence they portrayed with this overall healthy-looking image was something that people gladly jumped on board with.

I was one of the young females who became incredibly intrigued with this moment. To this day, I contribute a part of my recovery from anorexia to the fitspo movement. These females had curves, muscles, and confidence… everything that I was lacking. I was ready to break ties with my eating disorder, and escape a lifetime of starvation and misery.

I started following many of these female lifters and bodybuilders on Instagram. I studied their meals, their workouts, and their attitudes. Slowly but consistently, I put on weight, and started to see muscles form in the mirror. You can read more about this here in my piece about recovering from my eating disorder.

Fast forward from 2013 to 2017, and the fitspo community of Instagram has Related imagedrastically transformed, and not for the better. As social media marketing has become a powerful piece of advertising, the fitspo community has essentially been taken over by these “insta-famous models.” Before, young female fitspos seemed genuine about helping others and sharing their fitness tips with their fans across the globe. Now, the fitspo community has evolved into what seems like a hidden advertisement of eating disorders and mediocre products.

When you browse the fitness community on Instagram now, you are bombarded with posts of half-naked girls holding up a tub of some processed supplement persuading you that it will pretty much change your life. The brand PEScience has grown to be one of the most ANNOYING AF companies on Instagram. Their “athletes” are usually females who have participated in a bodybuilding competition (usually the Bikini division), and have predominantly slim bodies. Just go to their Instagram now — whenever a person is holding one of their products, it’s usually (1) a female (2) a female in a sports bra (3) a female with much cleavage and/or (4) a female with a dark tan and face of makeup. Based on the reviews I have read about their products, they are average. Protein powder is protein powder, and most of it is heavily processed and laced with artificial sweeteners or colors. Those super natural protein powders typically taste pretty bad on their own, hence why ‘Processed Powerhouse’ PEScience has flavors like “snicker doodle cookie” and “chocolate peanut butter cup.”

PEScience is just one company that has completely flooded our fitness feeds. There are hundreds of others such as: Bite Meals, Gymshark, Alphalete, Icon Meals, etc. I have only bought from Gymshark of the brands listed above, and I have the same opinion: it’s decent. I ordered leggings from Gymshark, and they are fine, but nothing to brag about. The shipping took forever, the material is quite itchy for me, and their sizing is inconsistent. I have to admit that they do a phenomenal job of digital marketing, and all of their “athletes” are fitness males and females who gained a large following on Instagram from posting selfies 1-3 times a day.

Going off that last point, the female “athletes” for these brands all look eerily similar: small waist, big butt, small arms, big boobs, and toned quads. As stated above, we all work to post the most flattering pictures of ourselves by standing in the best lighting and contorting our body to look the most #goals worthy. However, it seems as if this new “perfect body” is creating a new distortion for young females.

One of the initial positive contributions from the fitspo evolution was the appeal of a heavier and curvier female body. These girls on Instagram weren’t posting about the desire to have a thigh gap, size 22 waist, and a razor sharp jawline. They were eating caloric meals and even some ‘treats’ rather than following a super strict magazine-style diet of salad, water, and fat free yogurt. However, the fitspo movement essentially just created a new community of disordered members by creating this new unrealistic body image and OCD lifestyle of counting macronutrients in [mostly] processed foods.

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Many websites have started to write about this topic as the movement has become more negative than positive. People started to write about their experience with counting macronutrients, stating that it simply replaced one eating disorder with another.  Some researchers have studied the emotional and mental state of women who have viewed these new fitspo images, and of course, the results were not positive. Women reported to have a worse sense of self image/self esteem after looking at these images of “largely unattainable” body types. Although you may look at some of these images and think, “Largely unattainable? That’s a little dramatic, don’t ya think? They aren’t completely shredded.

You’re right – most of these women are not insanely vascular unless they are in prep for a competition or photoshoot of some sort. However, most of us work 9-5 jobs, get stuck in hours of commuting, have kids, have a spouse, have a life outside of fitness maybe?!?! I’m not making excuses, of course, since I fortunately have the Image result for bikini bodybuilders who take steroidstime to make it to the gym 3-4 times a week (usually). However, these females are typically spending 6-7 days in the gym for 2-3 hours at a time, weighing and measuring every morsel of food they eat (or having their sponsor service mail them meals), and rarely stepping outside their normal routine (I.E. attending work happy hours, birthday parties, weddings, etc). And of course, we cannot forget the fact that most of them are being sent free supplements from their sponsor, or receiving a heavy discount, which includes weight loss pills, appetite suppressants, water pills, caffeine powders, etc. Others may take the other route of just using various steroids extremely popular in the bodybuilding community.

However, I almost don’t even view their actual bodies as unattainable. What I think is more unattainable and especially unrealistic is their overall way of life. These fitspos are advocates of the lifestyle “IIFYM” which stands for “if it fits your macros.” This is interchangeably used with the term “flexible dieting” to advocate eating foods that you want to eat, as long as they fit your macro nutrient goals for the day. This has challenged typical bodybuilding style dieting “clean eating” since it has been criticized of causing binge-eating disorders among competitors post competition. These competitors would essentially live off chicken, rice, and broccoli (or “clean” whole foods) for weeks, and once their competition is over, they would gorge on “dirty” foods like chocolate, candy, and everything else they were deprived of during their prep. I think that BOTH of these dieting methods can work for people, yet I also believe that BOTH of these methods have dangerous effects on one’s mental health.

For example, IIFYM did NOT work for me. I became utterly consumed with counting macronutrients, weighing my food, and carrying measuring spoons everywhere I went. I found this to be a new form of orthorexia, as I would freak out if someone else prepared my food. It was different than my anorexia symptoms because I was actually eating a bunch of different foods and I was ingesting more calories. However, I was obsessed with every gram of carb, protein, and fat I was ingesting. Imagine carrying a food scale to Chiptole? Imagine pulling out a measuring cup at a restaurant? Imagine calculating every carb you ingested every single day? The IIFYM way of life may have helped me increase my caloric intake, but it actually made me more obsessed with measuring, counting, and weighing every single thing I ate. I understand why strict competitors and bodybuilders follow this method, but I have to disagree that this is necessary for the average person trying to live a healthy and balanced lifestyle.

In addition, a lot of these accounts have learned the importance of hastagging – Image result for fitspo movementI.E. – including relatable “tags” so other people can find your account or join in on the community. One popular one of course is “#strongisthenewskinny” Although I find this quote catchy & memorable, it’s actually quite disordered when you think about it. The body confidence movement (shown in ads from Dove and Aerie especially) emphasizes how all bodies are beautiful, no matter was size, color, shape, etc. So is “strong is the new skinny” saying that naturally skinny girls are not attractive, cool, inspirational? What this quote is doing is just replacing one desired appearance with another.

Another new hashtag is  “#gainingweightiscool.” This one I have less of a problem with, but it is still concerning when you look at the majority of images behind the hashtag. I definitely could see how this phrase is beneficial to girls suffering with eating disorders and afraid to gain weight, like I once was. However, the images associated with this hashtag are mainly girls focusing on showing off the weight gain in their glutes or quads, and still having a relatively small waist. So basically… it’s cool to gain weight, but make sure it goes to your butt and not your stomach, k? -___- The problem with this is that people gain weight in different areas, and it is not possible to spot reduce. This goes back to enforcing the whole unrealistic Barbie image: small waist, big boobs, big butt, long legs. In addition, most of these females have admitted to getting plastic surgery (mostly breast augmentations and/or lip fillers #ThanksKylie) to further dramatize their #ratio #goals. Eye roll.

I do believe that these phrases or hashtags were created to help people and motivate them. However, the problem arises when one obvious look with similar derivatives are associated with these phrases. We are comically living in the era of the butt – the butt is EVERYWHERE on Instagram. Forget boob guys – we want BUTTS. Most of these fitspos have released redundant “Build your Booty” guides – charging naive teenagers plans that you most likely find for free on Bodybuilding.com. I get it that they want to make money, but half of these people do NOT release the fact they are not a certified trainer, nutritionist, or health professional. And no, they are not required to tell us this, but Jesus Christ… what ever happened to just joining Instagram for just some fitness tips and camaraderie? Now, 20 year olds are selling identical plans that you can find online for FREE, and posting a photo of their butt at least once a day to grow their following of helpless brainwashed girls.

I get it, you’re proud of the butt you built and you want to show it off – cool. I also went from pancake butt to a little somethin’ somethin’, but I don’t feel the need to post a picture of my behind every single day since you know what, there is MORE to me than my butt. I rather share a photo of me enjoying a night out with my friends, a good book I just read, an outfit I really liked, etc. These girls complain Image result for hot instagram girlsthey are not taken seriously, but they are setting themselves up for it. Men have NO right to disrespect women – no matter what they wear or how they pose – however, ya think that saying that will make men change? Nope. Assholes aren’t going away anytime soon, and I hate to admit that sexism isn’t either. If you want to limit your chances of being disrespected on the Internet (which we get it, you shouldn’t be) and getting called a THOT, then I suggest limit the pictures you are posting in your thong. You are taking the risk of building a career in the most openly and constantly critical field there is: social media. Therefore, you should be ready for the criticism and know how to handle it. Just admit it, you know that #SexSells and at the end of the day, you’ll take more attention and more money over a few fan-letters from mindless teenagers.

After that last paragraph of going off on an aggressive tangent, I will close this piece here. I’m thankful that I am in a state of recovery where I am not triggered by photos on the internet like I was once before. Of course, I have some days where it is still hard since I genetically do not have a small waist, and I genetically store fat on my arms. This goes against the #goals images of famous “Instagram Models” like Katy Hearn and Nikki Blackketter. These two are known for their petite frames, incredible ratios, and large butts. While these two females are inevitably harmless, their rise to fame clarifies one thing: there has been a particular image created from the evolution of the fitspo movement, which continues to be extremely unrealistic to maintain for the average woman. All we have done is replaced one small and bony body with a small and toned one.

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